Monday, June 2, 2008

Mind and Body

I am back to work and my surgeon was right, the recovery for this surgery is not bad. I have been up and around for a couple of days and though still sore and lacking a bit in energy with some very colorful bruises....I am feeling pretty good.

While I don't like pain any more than the next person, I am finding that the physical pain of recovery is exponentially easier than the mental anguish of knowing that I have cancer in my body. It is something that I couldn't shut off for one minute of the day.

My mental state is 1000% better knowing that I no longer have a tumor that is growing and spreading every day. I understand that there is still a risk that there are some cancer cells. I also understand that I am now at a higher risk of getting cancer again than someone who has not had it. I understand all of that but it is still easier than hearing the "tick, tick, tick" in my head that I have had for the last three weeks.

Everyone has told me to be positive and I have tried very hard to do so, but now for the first time I feel hopeful and active in my recovery. I think I can do it now. In fact, I know I can. I am under no illusions that chemotherapy or radiation will be easy, but at least I know I am actively improving my chances.

I would have to say that even though I say that I try to be healthy, I have actually been quite cavalier about my health up until now. Getting a breast cancer diagnosis shines a very bright light on how I am actually taking care of my body. I now am very aware that this is the only one I have so if I don't take care of it-who will?

My body might be preparing for battle, but my mind has already begun to overcome it.

1 comment:

Tana Atkinson said...

You are a trooper. You still have a road to go down, but just think of what you have already dealt with. A whole lot! You have done a great job at being positive. I can't wait for the official word. I'm so glad that you are doing much better. A hero you are. back to work already? Make sure you are getting your rest! Hugs!