Monday, August 10, 2009


Medium: def: A middle state or condition, about halfway in between extremes.

I am not a large framed person. I have relatively small bones but am pretty average in size. I am 5'6 and though am carrying 15-20 extra pounds of weight that I would like to get rid of, am relatively well proportioned for my size.

I have spent the majority of my adult life shopping for clothes in the Large or Extra Large section of the clothing racks. Not because I am necessarily a large or extra large person, but because my chest was significantly larger than the rest of my body.

Maybe this wouldn't have bothered me if I had always considered myself a large person, but that is not the case. I was always the smallest person in my class when I was in school-you know, the one who always had to be at the end of the line in pictures to make the picture look right? I was the smallest person all the way through high school and even after that into adulthood.

Somehow when I turned into an adult, my chest not only caught up with me, but surpassed the rest of my body. Having breast cancer is not the way that I planned to change my bust size at all. However, that is exactly what happened. I was diagnosed with breast cancer, had a lumpectomy and ended up being non-symmetrical. I chose to have a breast reduction on both sides after I completed all of my treatment.

I recently had to order a t-shirt for the 3 day walk and tried on the sizes to see what t-shirt size I should order. The size I ordered? Medium. Perfect!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Why Worry?

"We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same"

My sister is doing the 3 day walk with me in September. Though she is looking forward to it, she is very worried. She was concerned that she wouldn't be able to raise 2300.00-she has. Now she is concerned that she won't be able to complete the walk. She told me recently that she is having those pre-wedding type dreams where you arrive completely unprepared.

We had someone who has walked in the event before tell us that it was the best 3 days of her life and the worst 3 days of her life. My sister is concerned not about it being the best 3 days, but about it being the worst.

Physically and mentally I think it will be a difficult 3 days. I think it will be difficult to see the amount of people affected by breast cancer and I think it will be difficult to walk 20 miles for 3 days in a row. Will it be the worst 3 days of my life? Not a chance.

The worst 3 days of my life have been the day my dad died, the day my sister delivered and lost her first baby and the day I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Physically the worst 3 days of my life have been the day I gave birth to my first daughter, the day after I had a titanium plate and 9 screws placed in my wrist and day 4 after my first round of chemo.

The first oncologist that I spoke to after being diagnosed told me that many women find they become stronger people after being diagnosed with cancer. My instinct at the time was to tell him to shove it where the sun doesn't shine, but maybe he was right. It hasn't occurred to me once to be worried about the 3 day. I wasn't worried about the fundraising (I am currently at 7400.00) and although I knew I needed to train to physically be able to walk 20 miles for 3 days in a row, it has never occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to do it. I guess I am a stronger person than I thought I was.

My sister has had some extremely difficult days as well, both physically and emotionally. I have faith in me and I have faith in her as well. It will be a hard 3days but we can do it, I know it without any doubt. It will be 3 of our best days, not our worst.