I wish I could say that I feel like it is all behind me, but that isn't really true. Cancer is still in my thoughts every single day. It just doesn't really go away. I am concerned every time I have an ache or a pain or something that is out of the ordinary.
I still struggle with what my lessons are supposed to be. I continue to think that I got cancer for a reason, but I don't yet know what it is. I learned a lot about myself and about my friends and family but my life isn't drastically different than it was before. I didn't pack up the family and move into a log cabin or chuck all of my professional experience and become a film director.
I read recently that most people say that the age when they "found" themselves was 45. I turned 45 in March so I have high hopes for this year. I thought my lessons would show up with fireworks and lightning, but that hasn't been the case. I think this will be my year. I am happy to be 2 years out. I am proud of the accomplishment and hopeful for the future.