Blink

As far as eyelashes go, we are pretty blessed in our family. I have long eyelashes as does my husband so both of my children have great, long, dark eyelashes. When I was going through chemo I lost my hair, but was able to keep my eyelashes and eyebrows throughout the entire process.

To my surprise and disappointment both my eyelashes and eyebrows took an abrupt leave of absence about 8 weeks after finishing my last round of chemo. Adding insult to injury, this happened right when we were leaving for Hawaii so just as I was starting to feel "normal", I looked like cancer girl-bald and lashless.

The good thing about losing eyelashes is that they start to grow back almost immediately. Since I have dark eyelashes, you could see them within a week which was great, but I missed my long eyelashes.

Unlike the hair on your head, eyelashes apparently go in cycles which is why we normally lose one or two each day and not the whole lot. Chemo resets this cycle meaning that they all fall out at the same time. My understanding is that it takes awhile to reset this cycle so that each lash is on a different cycle. Unfortunately what this means is that eyelashes continue to fall out long after chemo. Mine fell out the first time and then I had another round of serious thinning but not complete loss.

The other day was a beautiful sunny day in Seattle so I put my sunglasses on. As I was driving I noticed that every time I would blink, my eyelashes hit the lenses of the glasses. I promptly ripped my sunglasses off so I could take a good look at those eyelashes. 7 full months after my last chemo, my eyelashes are finally back to their original length. I think I will wear my sunglasses every day, just so I can realize that having your eyelashes brush against the lenses is a good problem to have.

All Clear?

The mammogram went well yesterday and the doctor was pleased that she didn't see anything out of the ordinary. The MRI went well also, though I do not yet know the results of that. I hope to hear from my doctor today telling me that everything looks clean and clear.

The Zometa infusion was relaatively uneventful, although it was very strange being back in the infusion room. The nurses there are great and do their best to make the experience as easy and painless as possible. The explained to me that the Zometa essentially pulls calcium out of your system and then dumps it back into the bones which is why bone and joint pain can occur.

I was hoping to get away with no side effect, but unfortunately woke up this morning achy and with chills. These are expected side effects and generally only affect people after the first infusion. I am laying low today and trying to remember that this means it is working the way it is supposed to. No pain, no gain!

Down to the Wire

I cannot believe I have made it this far. Tomorrow is my last day of radiation. My last day! I never thought I would say this, but I will actually miss the people that I have seen every day for the last 6 and 1/2 weeks. I have had the same 3 or 4 techs every day and they are wonderful. They could spend the 10-15 minutes that I am in there just working and ignoring the patient, but they don't. They talk to me every day, remember things that we have discussed and ask questions about my life.

At Valley, they have valet parking for the radiation patients. Every day the same 2 valets wave me in, take my keys and take care of my car. They know me now too. Most of the time they just let me park myself! They know not to send my car very far because I will only be 10-15 minutes. Collectively they have made an experience that could have been really miserable, something that wasn't that bad.

I will miss them, but I will not miss having an appointment every day. I will not miss being reminded every morning that I am STILL fighting cancer. I will not miss driving the extra 25 minutes every day and having to ride a different bus because there is no room at the park and ride at that time. I will not miss the red peeling skin under my arm.

I had heard that people who don't have to do chemo think that radiation is tough to do and people who do chemo think that radiation is easy in comparison. Radiation is not easy. It causes skin redness and itchiness, sometimes blisters and a low-grade fatigue all of the time. That being said, radiation was a walk in the park as compared to chemo. It is a completely different type of fatigue. I still function very normally with the possible exception that I go to bed a little earlier and feel tired by late afternoon. The only other thing for me is that I have Restless Leg Syndrome and have had it since I was young without knowing what it was. It is something that makes you feel like your skin is crawling and you must move your legs to get it to stop. I generally feel this when I am tired so having a low-grade fatigue all the time means for me that my legs are going crazy almost all the time.

I'm lucky. I know I am. Some people have much more intense side effects that I have had. My radiation doctor and the techs tell me all the time that my skin is amazing and resilient. God might have given me cancer, but He also gave me very good health, strength beyond what I thought I had and resiliency. He also gave me love and support from many different directions. We did it! All of us!

Chemo Day 2

So far not so bad. I woke up a little shaky this morning but other than that, no real problems. The girls and I ran errands, took Darci into the doctor to see if her toe was broken, got some shots for Cailey and just hung out.

I know that the next few days could be worse, but that's OK. I will take advantage of the days that I feel good and be happy that I can spend them with my family. I will go in next Thursday to have my white blood cell counts checked. Besides having side effects that can be just plain annoying, this is actually the most dangerous one. My counts should go down significantly between day 7 and 10. I will be using lots of Purell and will be asking anyone who comes to see me or wants to hug me to do the same. I will also ask that if you have a sniffle or sore throat or anything else that you wait a few days to come and see me.

Thank you for all the phone calls and messages. I'm going to make it...I know it.

Now I can say that I a 25% done with chemo. You gotta like some accomplishment!