Sunday, August 24, 2008

I Want My Life Back!

That's just all there is to it. I want my life back. I am tired of cancer being the center of my whole life. I am tired of not being able to take care of my family, I am tired of not being able to go out and have fun. I have spent the last 48 hours in bed feeling miserable. Not only have I been feeling miserable, but now Cailey has strep throat and not only can I not take care of her, I can't even go near her.

The thing I have wanted most in my whole life is to be a mother. I have the greatest children on the planet. They are sweet and brave and smart and beautiful and compassionate and understanding. And I can't go near them right now. I have not once said that it isn't fair that I have cancer. I have not once said, "Why me?". I don't know why it is me and life is definitely not fair, but I want to take care of my children. I want their needs to be important right now. I don't want everything they are going through to take a back seat to something as greedy and evil as cancer. I WANT MY LIFE BACK!

1 comment:

kris r said...

Trace,
I'm praying for you. I want you to have your life back too. It's o.k. to be angry...continue to let it out. Hang in there baby, just hang in there. Your kids know that you are there for them...and you'll be back in full parenting mode again soon. Love you, K