Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Strength

Day 8 after my first chemo treatment. Still feeling like a wet noodle and can't be upright for more than a few minutes at a time but at least feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I thought I had an idea of what chemo would be like but I was wrong.

I really thought I was a strong person and I thought that I could power through anything that I put my mind to, but now I know that strength really has nothing to do with it. It is an oversimplification to say that you can just decide you are going to beat cancer. It is hard-really hard. Harder than anything I have ever done and harder than anything that I ever plan to do again. I have to redefine my definition of strength because the one that I had is not enough.

I am grateful for my husband and children who have taken care of me non-stop. I haven't been able to do more than get up and go to the bathroom so they have been everything to me. I can't imagine going through this alone and my thoughts go out to those that have to do so. I am also grateful that every day I get a phone call, email or card from someone or a comment on my breast cancer blog. Even if I am not in a position to respond, please know that your love, thoughts and prayers mean a lot to me and help me get through the bad days.

2 comments:

Karen said...

Your on Day 8. Hang on in there. Over the next couple of days it should get a little easier. Your body is in overdrive at the moment. Listen to your body and don't push yourself. If you want to sleep, then sleep. If you need someone to talk to you can get intouch with me via http://www.breastcancerstory.co.uk via the comments that go directly to my email

Hang in there your doing great.
Love and Hugs
Karen x

Annie Searle said...

"The best way out is always through." -- Robert Frost

Tracy, hang in there, it can only get easier going forward.

Thinking of you --

Annie