Thursday, February 12, 2009


Last night I had the chance to go see the Lion King at the Paramount Theatre in Seattle. I have seen it before but never with my children so I was really excited to go. The show didn't disappoint at all and was thrilling from beginning to end. My sister went with us as well and spent the entire show being cold as it was a bit chilly in the theatre. I told her that a nice hot flash would take care of that for her. Certainly it took care of it for me. I had a coat on when I went into the theatre and about time the second act started, I started sweating and had to remove my jacket. 10 minutes later, I am cold. Aaargh!

I have a bit of a queasy stomach occasionally when taking medication so I have learned to take everything at night when my stomach is full. Every night I take out my collection of pills. I really don't like taking any type of medication so mostly my pile of pills consists of vitamins and supplements, but then there is that tiny little white Tamoxifen pill.

Tamoxifen is what is currently responsible for my hot flashes. It is a hormone blocker and blocks the estrogen in my body. Each night when I take it I have some different feeling about it. Some nights I hate it. It is a constant reminder that cancer is going to be part of my life for a long time. Some nights I take it and am thankful that I am done with treatment and ONLY have to take one tiny white pill. Some nights I am in awe that a tiny white pill can do so much to hold cancer at bay and improve the survivability rates of so many women.

I know that it is saving my life and I'm grateful that if I had to have cancer, I had it in a time when this particular drug is available to women with my diagnosis. I also know that the side effects could be much worse and that I am lucky to have minimal side effects. I know all of this, but I still hate being dependent on medications and I'm not all that fond of hot flashes either. However, like I told my sister last night, if you are female, then at some point you will go through menopause. I just happen to be going through it earlier than I might have otherwise. So when all of my friends are in their 50's and having hot flashes, I will just smile and say "Yes, I remember".

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