Monday, October 6, 2008

Doing Nothing

Ever since the day I was diagnosed, I have felt like I have had to do whatever I could to fight the cancer in my body. It is something that I think about constantly. Between appointments, research, diet and exercise, I feel like the battle is constant. Even the days of chemo, though miserable, were serving a purpose. They were providing insurance against a recurrence and every day I had to tell myself that I was doing something to fight it even if I couldn't get out of bed.

This weekend was the first weekend that I felt like I had a reasonable semblance of normal energy. Maybe not 100%, but pretty close. Since it was the first weekend that I was feeling good, we could have been ambitious and tackled any number of projects that we have around the house. But we didn't. We did nothing.

Actually we did a lot of nothing. We went for a long walk with the girls and the dog. We went through some winter clothes and got rid of some. We made dinner. We watched both girls play soccer. I caught up on my stack of magazines.

I am grateful to have the energy and the time to choose to do nothing. To have a weekend when I don't feel like I must be doing something to fight cancer. There are lots of things I could have done, but didn't. It was a perfect weekend.

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