Monday, May 25, 2009

Lazy Days

When it is sunny in Seattle, there is nothing better. The sun has been shining for the last several days and we have been enjoying the long weekend. We have worked in the yard, barbecued wth friends, done a little shopping (gotta hit the holiday sales) and broken out the summer clothes. It has been a very carefree weekend.

Last year at this time, I had just taken my sister into emergency with kidney stones (she was 9 months pregnant with twins) and we were all worried about her health and the babies' health. I was also anxiously awaiting my lumpectomy. I remember not being able to enjoy the weekends at all leading up to my surgery because it felt like the only possible thing that could be happening on those days was that the cancer in my breast was growing by leaps and bounds. I could literally hear a tick, tick, tick in my head. A time bomb-that's what I was carrying around.

Last memorial day weekend was a soccer tournament for my daughter. I remember only one thing about that weekend and that was that my best friend Shannon drove from Portland and met me at the soccer fields so her daughter could spend a couple of days with us. I remember not knowing how to talk to her (a problem we have NEVER had) because there was so much to say and we were in a very public place. I knew that whatever words I said to her or she said to me were going to cause me to break down and cry which I didn't want to do on a day that should belong to my kids. Sadly, I do not remember one single thing about the soccer games-not who won, not who lost, not even if it was a good tournament----nothing.

One year later I am preparing to walk in the Seattle 3 day event and training every day. I am looking forward to my twin nieces first birthday (they were born on May 27-both small and premature, but perfectly healthy), my sister is fully recovered and I am preparing for another surgery. This one will be for reconstruction, mostly just making myself symetrical again and doing a little polishing up. While I was looking forward to last year's surgery, it was for a completely different reason. I wanted that cancer out of my body as quickly as possible. This time I am looking forward to the surgery for purely cosmetic reasons.

I am not taking for granted for one minute that I have the luxury of enjoying these lazy May days. I thank God I am able to do so and hope to enjoy many, many, many more.

1 comment:

Carol Salo said...

Tracy ... oh my ... what a difference a year makes !!!!! As you talked about your daughter's soccer game and not remembering the details of it, I can so relate. Although many dr appts are pretty vivid in my memory bank, the things that I would have really wanted to remember are nothing but a blur. Time to move forward, eh???