Breathe

Yesterday I had 3 more tests to tell me if there is more cancer in my body. I had a PET/CT Scan and a PEM scan. Without going into the down and dirty of each test, they are looking at cell activity to see if the quickly dividing cells of cancer show up anywhere else besides where the original mass was found.

Of course this just gives me more reasons to be afraid. During my PEM scan (basically a high resolution mammogram), they made me go back twice to look at things that they wanted to look at again. While I went through each test, I just had to keep telling myself to breathe. Breathe and remember that this is a good thing. I want them to know what they are dealing with prior to the surgery. Breathe and hope for the best. Breathe and know that no matter what they find I have good doctors that will help me. Breathe and pray for no other cancer. Just breathe.

The girls are in soccer tournaments this weekend-a piece of my normal life....hanging out at a soccer field, hauling chairs, drinks, blankets, talking to other parents. This is part of my life that I very much enjoy. We have been very lucky to make great friends through soccer along with the girls. I never imagined myself as being one of those crazy parents on the sideline yelling and screaming at their kids, but guess what? I am. When Cailey's team was getting stomped on by the other team and girls from the other team were pushing my kid, I started yelling like a crazy person. And I had to tell myself again.....just breathe.